The Humble Servant

It’s been everywhere…I don’t remember much of anything past last night, so I guess I’ll just speak of from then on and my feelings associated.

Well, to Denis and Nick specifically, I’m sorry for lying to you guys about not looking for porn and masturbating this whole time. I don’t feel particularly good about it, but I know there is now no condemnation. I value our friendship very much and I hate showing you guys disrespect by not coming to you guys more often with personal struggles like that.

A couple weeks back or so the parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector in Luke 18 showed up in random readings a couple times, one immediately after the other. I began to pray about Andy’s sermon…turns out he preached about confession that Sunday, go figure! He talked a lot about how we are to confess our sins not only to God but to one another as well. I’ve known this for a while now of course, but never really took it to heart enough. I had been wanting to tell Amanda forever and tried multiple times, but came up short. I knew confessing to others would be my only way to freedom.

So I confessed to Max…and that helped a lot. I slipped up a couple times after that but I’ve been good since. I finally told Amanda last night…it feels good, but of course the repercussions of my actions are inevitably to be dealt with. I’m thankful, however, that I did not wait so long into our relationship. I’m glad that I didn’t live a lie for years. Thank you God, for answered prayers.

I’ve been stressing out way too much about grades lately, I need to relax. Put everything to prayer…

A lot’s on my mind. Thanks for hearing me out.

For some background, I go to the biggest school in Louisiana…around 2,000 students now that we’ve lost some to another school.

Anyway, yesterday my friend Max Chou was talking to me at lunch about how he had this vision of him making a huge poster that said, “Find purpose” and speaking life into people at lunch.

I told him that if God was calling him to do that I would totally be on board with him. So yesterday, we couldn’t help ourselves but make a giant poster that says, “What’s your purpose?” (I decided it was a little more intriguing). Today at lunch we sat down with it in the middle of a bunch of people, prayed (It was me, Max, and Simon initially) then just waited. For today we got one visitor…an administrator. We asked him about his views on everything and it turns our Mr. Smith has trouble with faith, a very understandable issue that so many struggle with. Turns out he’s done plenty reading on Jesus and such, but he hasn’t quite decided whether he believes that Jesus is his Savior. We asked him if he read the Bible at all…he said he hadn’t that much. I truly believe that there is no book as influencing as the Bible. I think if people took the time to read that Holy book it would change millions of lives. But I guess it’s our job to get them interested. I think we planted a seed in the heart of our elder there at school, and that makes me happy. Near the end of lunch Ben and Holly came over and we all prayed for the cause. We plan on doing this quite often now and I pray that the Holy Spirit would strengthen us like never before.

It’s so good to be free in Christ. It’s these crazy radical things we can do because there is nothing to be ashamed of with Jesus at your side. Yeah we may be persecuted, but are we not warned of this persecution in the first place? Get out of your comfort zones people, do something similar at your school! There are too many broken and wondering people out there to not offer your love and help.

fishforpeople:

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again - my Savior and my God!

• Found out that guys were going to be going on the March For Life trip with Amanda. Pissed me off, I don’t trust her.
• Christmas meeting lasted forever.
• Amanda took forever to get out of church.
• Confessed to her that my porn addiction had not ended until recently and I had lied to her for months. (I have much more to say about this, many apologies I need to voice.) Realized that my addiction resulted in my mistrust for my best friend. Made sense.
• Rejoiced because God does love me and redeems me.
• Things got bad again when Amanda felt cheated on, which she basically was.
• I felt bad, so dumbly decided it was time to tell Andrew that the way he treated Amanda was wrong. Although this needed to be talked about and I don’t regret mentioning it, it was bad timing on my behalf.
• Everything in me is raging against this little dude named Satan who has ruined my night.
• My calculus grade continues to drop, my teacher is terrible.
• I’m extremely judgmental and hypocritical.
• Not “FML”, I’m so much more blessed than I could ever imagine.

I hate that she can be changed by what are probably the same words but from a different mouth. Why can’t God change things through her best friend? Why is this planned this way, Lord? I’m having trouble understanding everything you’re throwing at me this week and I’m desperate for your guidance. Jesus save me from this. My redeemer, set me free.

We need to rip the claws from the avenger’s wicked way, remove from the enemy it’s source of strength, and proclaim the name of the everlasting victor.

In the midst of battle, cry out to the creator of the universe and humankind. Shout to the heavens His holy, holy, holy name.

When one allows the Light to pour through one’s flesh and devour the darkness in the middle of temptation, God’s ever present victory becomes eminent in that person’s life.

However, we’re imperfect human beings and at times (often), we are bound to fall. Romans 3:23, We’ve all fallen short of the glory of God.

When we fall into temptation, God is always there to pick us up in His open arms. The most comforting Creator waits on us, hand and foot, constantly calling our names aloud. Though, should we not be doing the same for our King?

We do not deserve God’s love, mercy, and grace. Yet we need to better understand that there is not a single child of God beyond redemption. God’s grace transcends all sin.

Let us not forget that the man who wrote half of the New Testament (Paul) was a converted terrorist.

Do not give up, ever. There is still hope, just beyond the horizon.

I’ve learned that God tends to stretch out periods of trial, strictly as a form of discipline out of the love He has for His people. This is where our part comes in, obeying the Lord’s commands, living by faith, worshiping in spirit and truth…simply doing everything in awed reverence of the Lord.

Discipline begins first with fearing the Lord.

Friends, pray with me in our journey to fear the Lord more and more each and every day.

I’ve got to take what I’m making
and turn it into something.

I’ve got to take what I’m making
and turn it into something
for you.

I’ve got to break what I’m making
and turn it into nothing.

I’ve got to break what I’m making
and turn it into nothing
for you.

Her eyes are blue and gold,

she insists they’re emerald.

They pierce me like the cold,

warm me like the sun shines down.

MICHAEL. 
M is for manly
I is for interesting
C is for cunning
H is for HUMBLE!!!
A is for amazing
E is for entertaining
L is for the way you look at me…. just kidding.
L is for loving

WHATWHAT. Jesus loves you.